Saturday, January 15, 2011

The sickness/bacteria/germs in this post are just staggering, I tell you.

So I walk into the waiting room and the receptionist says, "Have you been here before?" And I look at her and in my funny and yet sarcastic, drop.dead.serious. voice I say, "Oh yes. This is my third time here in a week...but I'm out of children now so I don't anticipate coming back any time soon." She looked at me with an, "I'm really sorry I asked/I'm really sorry" look and handed me the SAME EXACT piece of paper that I have already initialed TWICE in a week so that I can initial it yet again...this time...barely legible. halfway on purpose. not really. ok kind of.

But let me start at the beginning.

A long, long time ago.....scratch that.

Ten days ago, Caleb started feeling pretty yucky because of the huge-gantic, ginormical pollen count that we have been experiencing here in the hill country. Paul took him to the Urgent Care on Friday and they determined that he had tonsilitis. So they gave him some meds and we began the process to healing...so we thought.

On Sunday he was still feeling really crappy and so I took him back to the Urgent Care and after long minutes and waiting and consoling my child who looked and felt h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e. they determined that on top of his tonsilitis he also had the flu. Good times. So we started more meds and NOW we are on the road to recovery...for real this time.

Skip to Tuesday. Caleb is back at school. Jacob is home from school. That's right. Jacob woke me up at 4:00 am with a significant fever. I took Caleb and Abby to school and then took Jacob back to the Urgent Care. I told them about Caleb, so they started with the flu test. Which by the way, takes 15 minutes to process. Do you know what there is to do in an exam room that is 1.way to warm and 2.way to small and 3.way to beige. Nothing...except for maybe look at my options for kicking my husbands tail at Words with Friends. ...anyway, back to the flu test. Negative. What? Are you sure? (that's what I said!) So on to the strep test. Positive. So they gave him some meds and we began the process to healing...so we thought.

Jacob did not bounce back from the strep like I felt he should and so for 5 days he laid on the couch and bed, eating nothing, drinking little and spiking high fevers every 4-6 hours. Today, Saturday if your counting, was the first day that he was upright and he ate 3 meals today...a record for the week.

But wait! I'm not done!

Abby has been complaining about her head hurting for the last couple of days. On Friday I really thought she was playing the "how come the boys get to miss school and I don't" card, so we let her stay home. She was spiking fevers every 4-6 hours all day on Saturday and we had decided to just let the sickness run its course. Until...

She was crying and her fever was on fire! I gave her some Tylenol and took her to the "Agent Care" (aka Urgent Care). That's when I had the little banter with the reception that I opened with. Fast forward.

And we waited and waited for Abby's flu test to be done. Side note: She was wearing her "What happens in Kindergarten, stays in Kindergarten" shirt and she said, "Mommy What GERMS happen in Kindergarten do NOT STAY in Kindergarten, they come home with me and get me sick!" We had a good little chuckle over that! Anyway...Abby tested negative for the flu and negative for strep. The doctor remembered me and Jacob and asked how he was. When I told her about his week long affair, she apologized and told me she should have gone with her gut. Which was to treat him for both flu and strep. That's just what she did for Abby. So they gave her some meds and we begin the process to healing...I hope, I pray.

I do not want to go back to the "Agent Care" no matter how nice they are.

Urgent Care Co-pay1 - $30
Meds round 1 - $48
Urgent Care Co-pay2 - $30
Meds round 2 - $132
Urgent Care Co-pay3 - $30
Meds round 3 - $8
Urgent Care Co-pay4 - $30
Meds round 4 - $132
...not to mention the countless bottles of Tylenol and Motrin...I've lost count

Being able to say, "My children are well." - I'll pay anything.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Warning...this post is raw feelings and emotion. Reader beware.

Well I hope you took heed to the warning in the title!

This is a post that is coming from a pretty raw place in my life right now. It all started almost a year ago when Paul and I really felt like God was calling me into a new place in my life. I went back to "school" and got my teaching certificate. (and by "school", I mean, 6 weeks of intense classes, reading, projects and a significant amount of money)

I finished and all I needed was a teaching job to complete the process. We felt so confident in the way that God was leading us. I had my first interview in May 2010 and waited and waited and waited to hear about the coveted job that I was seeking.

Well fast forward 8 months to January 2011. I have now been through the interview process 4...FOUR times and still have very little to show for it.

Don't get me wrong, I have a job, with the district, that I like. Which is MUCH more than many people have and for that, I am grateful. However I am so far away from where I thought I would be! I thought I would be in a Kindergarten classroom by now, teaching, using my gifts and knowledge.

Instead I have an aid position teaching preschoolers. Not a bad gig at all....just not the direction that I thought God was moving me.

I now have been passed over again. I will get to move to my kids' school (for those that know the full story) but it is a lateral move to another aid position. Please hear my heart when I say, I am THANKFUL that I get to move to my kids' school...again...just not at all where I thought I would be at this point.

Maybe my expectations were too high. But is that really possible with God? Is it possible for my expectations to be higher that His? I of course don't think so. Somewhere I went wrong, though. Or I'm not understanding His ways that are clearly higher than mine. Is He protecting me from something? Is He holding out on me? Is He saving something better for me?

For whatever reason, I know with my head that His best is always BEST. I struggle with believing that with the rest of my heart though. Because I cannot fathom what is better. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew what would best suit me. Apparently, I don't.

I'm so frustrated. Have I don't something so wrong that God is punishing me for my disobedience? Am I so far out of God's will that I can't even hear or trust Him with my decision? Honestly, I don't know.


I KNOW with all of my being that God has control and knows what is best for me. I also know that just because things are hard doesn't mean I'm out of God's will. But I. am. struggling. deeply.

This is arguably one of the hardest journey's I have been on with the Lord. I find it very difficult to decipher His voice from my wants and desires. My husband helps. a lot. but I must struggle through this. Honestly my desires and wishes continue to push to the front and it's a constant battle to hold them back long enough for me to hear what the Lord is saying to me. It's a constant battle with my flesh to hold back what I want in order to do what God wants.

...and I'm terrible at it...

God is still answering prayers for me though. For the longest time...and by longest time, I mean, this semester... I have wanted to be at the same school as my kids. That prayer has been answered...although...I'm so jilted about this whole process that I'm sort of at a "I'll believe it when I see it" attitude. I confess that attitude as sin though. I'm also to the point that I'm expressing my frustration to God. I believe He delights in my honesty and yet seems to be holding back on me in the answer department.

Of course I don't believe that God is really holding out on me. He can do as He wishes and is in control...as much as I'll let Him be. Which is another area that I am struggling in. big.time.

What I really want is to hear Him more clearly in this situation. AND for His will to be my will. The problem is what I struggle with is I want my desires to be His will and at the same time MUST remain in His will because I KNOW it's the best place to be.

However, I can't see the forest for the trees. I can't hear God's direction because I'm so focused on what I thought He wanted for me. UGH!

I'm ready for this entire saga to be over, but I'm afraid it won't be over until I've learned what I'm supposed to learn from it. So I'm praying that God will be the Revealer to me over the next hours, days, weeks.

Above all, with tears streaming down my face, ABOVE ALL, I want more than anything to be in God's will for my life and for my family. I want what He wants, no matter how hard it is. I'm willing to do whatever. I may go kicking and screaming at times, but I'm going. I will serve Him. I will praise Him. I will trust Him.

Because I know He cares for me.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

On Thanksgiving Day

This is the turkey that sat on a plate
On the table just before everyone ate
On Thanksgiving Day



This is a turkey the little ones made
Telling of the thanks that we gave
On Thanksgiving Day



These are the rolls that across the table were thrown
By children of all ages including those grown
On Thanksgiving Day



This is end of the table number one
Where the kids sat and had great fun
On Thanksgiving Day



This is Mattie Lynn as cute as can be
Sitting directly in front of the cooked turkey
On Thanksgiving Day



This is cutie pie Caleb Paul
Who sat by the stuffing that stuffed us all
On Thanksgiving Day



This is Abby Sue
Posing at the table just for you
On Thanksgiving Day



This is Brayden who is saying hurry
I'm ready to dive into some yummy turkey
On Thanksgiving Day



This is Jacob showing his name card
Knowing that eating the turkey would not be hard
On Thanksgiving Day



There were so many memories
To many to really share
Like my grandpa telling old war stories
Of his bravery there
And all of my family together again

On Thanksgiving Day 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

Phone Photo Phun

Well it's been a month since my last post and I just don't think I'm going to win the "blogger of the year" award this year! Oh well, there's always next year...

Anyway, here are a few of the latest pics from my phone...hence the name Phone Photo Phun!

Now, before proceeding, you have to promise not to judge. We put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. I used to have a fairly strict rule about this, but a couple of years ago I decided that this was supposed to be FUN. It was supposed to be about my family being together and celebrating CHRISTmas. So from then on we have just been having some family fun nights when the schedule allows and put things up gradually and it's no stress. Tonight was one of those nights...and here are the results!

Here is the boys tree. Sports of course.



Here is the top of Abby's tree...just thought I'd tell you in case you couldn't tell...



Here is Abby's tree...it basically throws up purple...and that's just the way she likes it!



Here is the top of the boys tree...




Here is Abby's favorite ornament on her tree. It is a ballerina from the Night Before Christmas Ballet.



The boys tree is not a fair-weather tree. We are fans, for real.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Schedule and all the Craziness That Surrounds Us Right Now.

So let's start with last weekend.

The inlaws...mine, not Paul's...came into town to spend the weekend with us and watch the kiddos play football/cheer. Both of the boys played hard, but ended up losing and Abby danced/cheered really well. We ate out alot, specifically at Rudy's, and went shopping. In fact I'm pretty sure I graced the Target entrance THREE times in the weekend! Hey, people...things had to be purchased...and *shocker alert* I wasn't super organized about the list of things we needed so that warranted the three trips. Oh well, I can always blow some time and money in Target!

Sunday was church and all the things that go with it, for us. During the second service on Sunday, our children's minister had a "meeting" (for lack of a better term)for anyone who wanted to hear more about accepting Jesus as their Savior. Jacob decided to take his best friend up to the meeting. After hearing the presentation, Jacob and I talked with his friend and he decided to accept Jesus as his Savior! I was so excited for him AND for Jacob! He is 8 years old! He told his best friend about Jesus because he cared for him. It was such an exciting time!

Monday....hmmmm....Monday was school and Bible study and football practice. Pretty standard these days!

Tuesday....again pretty standard. Paul had band practice for Fields of Faith and I took the kids to eat and shop for the THREE birthday presents we had to get! That's right...all three of my kids are giving out birthday presents this weekend. Apparently, 9 months prior to this weekend was a poplular time - 9 years ago, 6 years ago and 1 year ago. So we went to IHOP for dinner, because pancakes for dinner is always a winner. I was really excited to spend some fun time with the kiddos. We were sitting in the booth at IHOP and Caleb looked at me and said "Mi gusta IHOP, mommy!" I just gave him a BIG smile and thanked God that Spanish Immersion is working!

Wednesday was CRAZY. We got pulled over by two Comal Co. Sherriff's IN OUR DRIVEWAY! That's a funny story I'll tell you one day. I went to work. Paul went to work. Paul got the kids from school and took them to the football field while he set up for Fields of Faith. Then I got the kids from the field and took them to another football field for Jacob's practice.

That brings us to today. School, out to eat...AGAIN! (This has got to stop soon!) and then to praise team practice. While Paul set up his drums, me and the kids played four square in the gym. We sang for an hour and then home. All are in bed. All is well.

Paul and I have a day date planned for Saturday after the football games! We are going shopping with my first paycheck! Yahoo! I'll try not to spend it all...but my son, God love him, (which is code for "I'm glad it's not me!") has very few items of clothing to wear for the upcoming winter months. We have had a few chilly mornings here and his sweatshirts are all 3/4 length sleeves! He put on a pair of wind pants today and he needed to wear long socks...
Of course I'll be shopping for me too! I can only wear jeans on Fridays so that means I need some more pants! ...and maybe shoes, shirts, jackets...etc!

And on a completely random note. It is 9:58pm and there are construction workers next door at the church with all of their beep beep beeping and lights and tractor/big machine thing-y noises. That could be annoying.

That is all. Thank you.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A few things about this and that and such and such

I started a new job! I teach 3-4 year olds at Rebecca Creek Elem. School. These kids are all faculty and staff's kids and they are the age appropriate models for some special education kids that are in the program. I like my job. There are a few things that I am getting used to and the hubs and the kiddos are adjusting well.

I am tired of hearing about bullying. I know that it is a major problem. I just think that every once in a while the bully needs a quick kick in the pants, a punch in the gut, a black eye, or even a good whipping. There are so many people talking and talking and talking. I really hope someone is teaching these kids to stand up for themselves. I know that they are teaching everyone about not being a bully...but how about teaching the ones who are on the receiving end to stand up for themselves.

ok...I'm done with that.

Caleb wants to go to Africa. He wants me to go with him. I told him we would go someday. I pray I can make that happen for him. Why does he want to go? Because he's never been there, of course. Someone should probably let him in on the fact that they don't speak Spanish in Africa...therefore all his hardwork and accomplishment in Spanish Immersion will not help him one little bit!

I'm excited for the fall season. I like the cooler weather, the football, the holiday seasons, all of it. Paul and I are going to a costume party this year and are super excited! We are going as Mario and Princess Peach (from Nintendo's Mario Bros.) Of course I'll post pics after the party...thanks for asking.

We started doing P90X at bootcamp. It's not exactly what I thought it was. That's all I have to say about that.

I am loving the Bible Study I am doing right now. It's Beth Moore's study on the fruit of the Spirit and it.is.goooooood.

I love my husband. He surprised me today with a massage and I got to get my nails and toes done.

He.is.amazing.period.the end.

Ok...well that's about all I have for tonight. I'm tired. Goodnight.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My day according to Facebook

So this is what my day would look like if I posted everything on Facebook.

Tanya Brand woke up this morning and then went back to sleep while her husband got the kids ready for school.

Tanya Brand woke up long enough to fix Abby's hair for school.

Tanya Brand went back to sleep.

Tanya Brand woke up again and thank the hubs for being so awesome and letting me sleep.

Tanya Brand got dressed and sat down with a cup of coffee and watched some CNN.

Tanya Brand watched the radar on the weather website and decided it was going to be a long day of introducing myself to Tropical Storm Hermine.

Tanya Brand decided to go over to the church and see how the first day of preschool was going.

Tanya Brand got SOAKED going approximately 10 yards from the car to the building...it's a good thing I wore comfy clothes and flip flops that dry quickly!

Tanya Brand helped the Babies teacher get her little ones settled in to the first day of preschool! They all have big "voices" and they know how to use them!

Tanya Brand decorated a bulletin board...and it. is. cute!

Tanya Brand went to lunch with the hubs at Bracken Christian School to see some of the BBC youth.

Tanya Brand's husband was kind enough to run into the torrential rains to get the car and bring it closer so that I would not get soaked in the torrential rains.

Tanya Brand went home to watch 2 hours of mindless tv while waiting for the kids to get out of school.

Tanya Brand got VERY acquainted with Tropical Storm Hermine as she came ripping through Bulverde dumping inches and inches of rain in my yard.

Tanya Brand watched as her driveway was slowly being washed into the street.

Tanya Brand's electricity went out. is back on. went off again. is back on again.
(This is not good for the mindless tv watching that I wanted to do.

Tanya Brand hears a strange noise and looks out the window to see tree #1 on the ground instead of standing...not by the roots...but there are no branches left on the upright part of the tree.

Tanya Brand hears another noise...kind of like a dripping faucet...hmmm....

Tanya Brand totally dismisses the dripping noise as her imagination.

Tanya Brand walks to her bedroom and on the way back she steps in a puddle of water and decides she can no longer dismiss the dripping noise!

Tanya Brand calls the hubs and he comes home to survey the leak in the living room ceiling.

Tanya Brand's husband asks her to look out the window when he gets home and we look at tree #2 in the middle of the driveway.

Tanya Brand realizes that Tropical Storm Hermine is kind of serious about her job.

Tanya Brand decides to scrapbook in the dark-ish house...because the power is out again.

Tanya Brand watches out the window as Hermine raises her ugly head and watches tree #3 lose all its branches.

Tanya Brand's husband goes to get the kids from school.

Tanya Brand does homework including Spanish spelling words and third grade math flash cards.

Tanya Brand eat an early dinner so we can go to football/cheer practice at the church.

Tanya Brand brought two of the three kids home early to get into bed.

Tanya Brand realizes that Hermine has settled down a bit.

Tanya Brand sits down and continues the CNN watching she started this morning.

Tanya Brand is blogging her life according to Facebook.