Monday, September 28, 2009

Things that only happen when Paul is gone...

Every time Paul goes out of town, the world spins in a different direction, all you-know-what breaks loose and I have never understood it, but have slowly come to accept it. "Whatever do you mean, Tanya?"

I'm glad you asked.

*On a NUMBER of occasions Paul has left to go to youth camp and I was VERY sick. I'm not just talking about a little head cold or a sore throat. I'm talking about full on throwing up, bed ridden...sick. On one particular occasion I vaguely remember telling Jacob, who was 4 yrs old at the time, to just bring me the milk and a cup and I would pour it for him...from the couch! I also remember on that particular occasion telling Jacob to watch his brother(2 1/2yrs) and his sister (18mos)and just make sure they didn't hurt themselves. That was also the time they ate four bags of fruit snacks for dinner, because that's what Jacob could reach.

*The behavior of my children also changes when Paul is gone...and NOT for the better. Apparently when Paul leaves out of children lose all ability to hear me. I have to continually raise my voice until I break through the "daddy's not here so I don't have to listen to mommy" barrier. It drives me insane.

*I also lose my God-given ability to fall asleep instantly. That's right, you can ask anyone who has ever seen me go to sleep. I have an uncanny ability to literally fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow....except...when Paul's gone. I am also a rock-solid sleeper...not even throwing up children wakes me up! When he's not home...I cannot sleep! It takes hours for me to fall asleep and the slightest thing wakes me up. This also drives me insane.

*When Paul is gone things like this happen: the cat pooped in the bathtub and I scared it when I walked in to the bathroom and it jumped straight up into the air and then landed right back into the poop that just came out of it's butt and then ran all over my house. Yep. That only happens when Paul is not home.

*When Paul is not home the trash is always full...even if he took it out just before he left...the next thing I's full. And I HATE taking out the trash. Same thing goes for the litter box.

*When Paul is not home, I clean. That's right people. I can do it. I just choose not to when Paul is home and does it so much better. However, I don't clean exactly like Paul does. I skip the normal sweeping, vaccuuming, dishes business and go straight to cleaning the tile grout with a toothbrush and some vinegar and water. No, I'm not kidding. The dishes are in the sink...he's coming home tomorrow!

I am sure there are hundreds of other things that happen when Paul is not here. If I come up with a good one I'll update, but for now. I'll NOT be going to sleep, no matter how hard I try...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i am crying i'm laughing so hard!