in which I was so mad I couldn't even yell...

My children sit alone in church for the worship time because Paul and I both are in the worship team. This works for most of the time. Not today. Today there was all manner of misbehavior on the front row. There was running between the chairs. There was poking between siblings. There was pulling of hair. There was crazy dancing...not worshipping, crazy dancing. There was pushing. There was mommy, on more than one occasion, looking DEEP into their souls telling them to STOP with my eyes. There was a attitude of "what are you going to do about it?". Then the songs were over and I came off the stage and told my children to get their things and walk.out.the.door. We walked home in TOTAL silence. I told them I was so angry I couldn't even yell. It is at this point where they knew it.was.serious. I told them to sit down at the kitchen table and I passed out some notebook paper and told them to start writing what Church meant to them and there would be no talking. Then I walked away. Mostly to change my clothes, but also so I didn't rip each of them limb from limb. I knew I was beginning to make an impression because of the silent tears streaming down some faces, including mine. Poor Paul, he didn't know what to think. He can't see the kids from inside the drum shield and I could not adequately portray to him the severity of actions on the front row. So he supported me by repeating my instructions and adding that an apology would also be written. When I came back into the kitchen I asked if they were done. Surprisingly, they all said, "no". So I told them to keep going. Then I made a list of the other things they would write, including 1.What does Church mean to you? 2.What does Worship mean? 3.What does being respectful mean? 4. How can my behavior be better next week? 5. What does Worship look like? 6.An apology to God and to Mom and Dad as well as a verse that will help them remember how to behave in church. This took about 40 minutes to complete, which was fine. I cooked lunch and kept the silence until they were all done. After reading their responses, I am THRILLED that they DO KNOW the "right" answers and were just choosing not to act properly. On the flip side, I'm so ANGRY right now at the headway the Devil has made in my kids diverting their attention during Church. This has been a few weeks in the making. I've been noticing their behavior deteriorating over the last few weeks and I should have taken care of it earlier. I didn't. Until today. I won't subject you to all of their writing because that would be a longer blog than even I would want to read and my little Spanish speakers's (Abby & Caleb) English spelling is AWFUL because they spell all the English words with Spanish letter and sounds. But here are a few highlights: (Don't worry...I'll fix all the spelling errors. Your'e welcome.) From Abby: In response to #1. Church is awesome. We sing and when we are done we are in the auditorium and we read in the HOLY BIBLE(her emphasis, not mine!) We are Christians and we worship Him because He is awesome. In response to #4. Obey the gospel of Christ and pay attention to the scripture. From Caleb: In response to #2. What worship means is celebrating God and He lives in Heaven. People are at church because of God. In response to #6. I am sorry for my behavior, God and Mommy and Daddy and for disobeying you and please God please forgive me. Proverbs 24:10 If you give up when trouble comes it shows that you have very little strength. From Jacob: In response to #3. Respectful is a nice way of saying something. Being respectful to God is the most important thing in the world. Being respectful to your parents is pretty important, you should do it all the time. In response to #6. I made a big mistake. I should have sat still and worshipped God. God please take my sins away. I should have just sat and worshipped you. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son so whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. I don't write this blog today to toot my own horn, in fact I feel just the opposite. I'd rather NO ONE know what happened today. I was embarrassed and frustrated. I am however, not going to give Satan the victory over today. My children do know how to behave and chose not to. I leave you with 3 pictures. These are the pictures they all drew in response to #5. Abby, then Caleb and finally Jacob.

Caleb Says the Darndest Things...

...and sometimes Paul and I just look at each other and say, "He gets it." Lately Caleb has been having all manner of Spiritual conversations with Paul and I. Today it stemmed from a song that we are singing at church tomorrow called Love Shines. It has a line in the chorus that says, "Love shines, love shines at Calvary Calvary And we proclaim that Jesus reigns in victory victory" On the way home from dove hunting tonight, Caleb was trying wrap his brain around the "love shines at Calvary" part. He was struggling to understand how God's love "shines" from Calvary. So Paul explained that Calvary is where Jesus died for our sins and how Calvary is the epicenter from which God's love is spread to the rest of the world. Caleb, in his own little mind, said, "So it's like an Army base that has a gas explosion? When the gas explodes then it floats out to all the surrounding area. Just like God's love explodes out from Calvary." I have no idea why it has to be an Army base...except he is a boy and most things = "Army". I have no idea why, in his own mind, a gas explosion comes to mind when he thinks of God's love spreading out from Calvary, but it does. I have no idea what paths his thinking takes on a regular basis to get to an understanding that is all his own, but God has wired him that way. Only my precious one compares God's love to a gas explosion and, in his own mind, he gets it.

Fridge Full of Food

This is my fridge full of food. Look quickly, it will not stay that way for long. School lunches and Dinner and will whittle it away. We will eat all the food and then.... I'll have to go back to the good 'ol HEB for more.

His Grace is Enough

Many times in my life I have been sitting in conferences of one kind or another or worship services for many reasons and the speaker has started with something like this: "Just put all your concerns behind you and focus on God this weekend. Leave everything from home at the door and just worship here in this place for now. It will all be there when you get home, so just don't worry about it." I can't stand this philosophy. Even as recently as this morning I confessed an overwhelming feeling that I was having about the next couple of weeks and I was given a line of this sort. Just focus on leading worship right now and don't worry about tomorrow. Scripture was even quoted, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:14" The thing was, I was feeling overwhelmed today...My feelings were of today even though they may have stemmed from the future. The thing was, I wanted God to deal with me right now. today. I have long believed that it was too much ask, especially for women/mothers, to "leave it all behind and forget what's happening at home to focus on a worship service." We are inherent multi-taskers and often other concerns, particularly the ones that involve our family, children or homes, are very difficult to put aside for any amount of time. I have also long believed that God was fully capable of meeting me in the MIDST of my concerns, not outside of them. He did not disappoint this morning! One of the songs in the worship set this morning was Your Grace is Enough by Matt Maher. God totally met me during practice this morning. As we were running through that song, I was reminded that His grace is enough for me. However I am feeling, whatever I am going through, in the midst of it all, His grace is enough. I don't want to "check everything at the door" I want God to walk me through the door holding it all whispering to me that His grace is enough. So tomorrow morning starts my "back to school". I'll get up early tomorrow and go to work and for the next two weeks plus 180 school days, His grace will be enough.

A Pinterest-y kind of day!

So it's been forever since I have blogged... Oh well Moving on. I spent the first part of this summer very ill with a weird infection in my tonsils which (long story short) led me to have my tonsils removed. I spent the first part of this summer on the couch...literally...for 3 straight weeks. I passed the time on Pinterest gathering ideas for my classroom as well as ways to organize my house or clean it or decorate it. Well, after a wonderful week of rehab at my parents house, I am finally home and ready to get started on all those Pinterest projects I pinned! Today I accomplished some kitchen items. Now some of these may be ridiculous to you, but my kitchen is on it's way to Better Homes and Garden's front page...ok, maybe not that... Anyway, I cleaned/disinfected all my counter tops AND cabinets today. If you have seen my kitchen, you know that I have approximately 9000 cabinet doors, so this was a feat. I also made DIY scentsy nuggets (I don't know what else to call them) with my leftover candles. This was awesome and SO easy! I also made a fruit fly catcher. This one, sadly, is the one I am most excited about! I have a ba-jillion fruit fly's in my kitchen. They are so annoying and I want them gone...without getting rid of my fruit! I started cleaning my grout and will have to continue this over the course of the week. I never thought I would enjoy cleaning my kitchen so well, but after so many weeks just sitting on the couch, it feels so wonderful to be ABLE to clean my kitchen. I am going to ride this wave this week and get my house clean! This might be a good time to visit...just saying...it's not like this all the time!

Jacob gets a 4!

Well, it's been no secret around these parts that Jacob has had some struggles in writing. His teacher has really helped him along and today he brought home a practice writing test with a 4! In the standardized testing world a 4 is AWESOME! I know you are all just dying to know what he wrote about...well...here it is! Forgive the typos, I'm going to type it exactly.

Chairs are an amazing invention. There are all kinds of chairs. There are baboon chairs, wooden chairs, metal chairs, plastic chairs, and cushion chairs that roll. They even use chairs in the most poorest places on earth.
I use chairs every I go. I use them in church, school and in the movies. Who likes standing up for six hours? Who would stand for a movie? I know you stand up for singing but thats a defferent story. Because the invention of chairs I don't have to stand. I'm not bored and my legs don't go to sleep on me. Even bleachers are great kinds of chairs for football, baseball and soccer.
When I have a chair to sit in I am comfortable. I'm off the floor and it's awesome to have a great invention to sit it.

Ok seriously, is that not the greatest paper you have read on chairs in the last five minutes? I am just over the moon at how organized and well written this paper is...and since Jacob wrote it and he is proud of it, that just makes it better!

So, while you are sitting here reading this blog, take a moment and reflect on the awesome invention underneath you!