Saturday, May 17, 2008

I need a good wallerin' ya'll...

Uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhh.

Yeah, I said "wallerin"...I know classy. But seriously, I think as soon as this blog is written, I'm going into my bathroom, drawing a nice hot bath, getting in and I'm going to cry for a minute. Ladies, you understand right? There are just times when desperate times call for a good cry.

What are these, "desperate" times you may ask? Well, if you read my blog on a regular basis (all both of you;). Then you know of my dear friends who's daughter took her own life a couple of weeks ago. Well when we got back from her funeral we found out the one of our current youth's dad also committed suicide while we were gone, so we did that funeral. Another one of our youth's grandmother died and in the same week the youth tried to runaway...so we dealt with that.

Then...my best friend Magan lost her baby this week. She was 17 weeks pregnant. According to my friend Georgia it's a "fetal demise" and my dear friend will have to give birth to her baby on Monday.

It's been a hard few weeks ya'll.

I just need to cry and let it out and cry out to the Father, tell Him how I feel, ask Him why and then rest in the fact that I don't need to know why...I only need to know Him.

The sadness is indirect to me, and yet so overwhelming. When will it end. It's to HIS glory though, and if this is all I have to endure...I can do it. One of my favorite lines from MercyMe is in their fairly new song All That is Within Me...

Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary
But Nevertheless
I lay it at your feet

It's all I got...in other words. Pray for us. We are walking through this with our dear, dear friends and it's uncharted territory. We are sad...real sad. Hopefully I'll have better things to blog about next time.

6 comments:

Melissa said...

Hi Tanya, this is Melissa. I met at the ladies retreat at MRBC and met you last year as well. I was reading your blog and wanted to share a site with you. We periodically attend Wedgewood Baptist Church in Ft. Worth when we visit our good friends there and I just thought that Pastor Al Meredith's sermon might give you some encouragement and hope. I'm sorry things have been so tough for you all. I am praying for you. Here's the site.
http://www.wedgwoodbc.org/content.cfm?id=2010

Melissa said...

This shooting hit close to home for me as two of the people killed, I knew and another one that was injured, I also knew. God has done great things for the families of all of these that were affected. I hope this story and sermon bless you.

Free in Christ said...

I know where you are coming from! Of course you know we talked when we saw you guys the other day. But I know what you mean. So much sadness, with Rachel and Magan. A young mother in our community was killed in car accident here Saturday night...How do I have the right to feel so much loss when I am really just on the outside looking in. It's not me going through it, but I am somehow. Know what I mean? My heart is just in a low and sad place lately too. I will talk to you more later...
Robin

Melissa said...

Hey there, I got your comment on my blog. You are welcome and I will so be praying for you all. It's so hard to understand why things happen the way they do. I'll add you to my friend's list. :)
I hope you have a good week. I know it's hard, but just remember that God is on your side. :)

Cari said...

i love your honest heart and your faith in our faithful God who is often hard to understand, but ultimately good beyond what we can imagine. i love you, friend.

Jennifer Raack said...

Oh Tanya! I've been sick and away from blog world for a few days. My heart just broke when I read all of this. The bad things just seem to rain down on us all at once! I'll be praying for you and all of your hurting friends. Hugs from me to you!!!